September 19, 2020

Let's Start Off Monday Morning With a Good Bear Story

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There was much talk that surrounded the morning coffee at the local coffee shop in Allagash, Maine. The topic was “The Bear”. Everyone was consumed with conversation about the bear. This wasn’t just any bear either. This was the mother of all bears, the big kahuna of bears, this bear was the biggest, meanest, nastiest bear that ever walked the planet. This bear was so feared by locals that the only fitting name the residents could come up with for this animal was “The Bear”.

It was Monday morning and all the usual locals were gathered at their prescribed tables in the restaurant when in walked, Klive Klein, the state of Texas’ most well known hunter. He sat down at a table and ordered a Texas sized breakfast and began listening in on the conversation about the bear. It wasn’t long before Klive decided he would hunt “The Bear”.

All the locals snickered and sneered as Klive finished his breakfast. Nobody, not even a northern Mainer, was dumb enough to go looking for “The Bear”.

Klive began asking who would guide him to find “The Bear”, but he found no brave registered Maine Guides to take him into the vast wilderness. Klive didn’t let that deter him and he prepared for the next day’s journey into the wilds to find “The Bear”.

Early the next morning Klive gathered his gear and headed into the woods. He spent nearly the entire day just walking for miles hoping to run into “The Bear”. It was just about an hour before dark when Klive heard a noise in the thicket. He readied his rifle and crept along trying to be as quiet as possible.

When he got to the edge of the thicket, he peered in trying to see what he could see. It was difficult as the sun was sinking low in the sky and the forest was getting dark. Klive took two more steps, stopped and stared into the thicket. Still he could see nothing and the noises had ceased as well.

Klive’s great hunting instincts was telling him there was game in that thicket and he wasn’t scared. He recalled the wild boar hunt he was on in Texas only last year. He knew that having a 585 pound wild boar with 8-inch tusks, charging him was as scary as any bear could be. He took two more steps into the thicket.

Klive stood motionless determined that he would find what was in the dense Maine thicket. This was a different kind of thicket than Klive was used to but nonetheless, he was a mighty hunter and he was in quest of “The Bear”.

Klive thought he heard some leaves rustle, so he took on more step toward the center of the thicket. His eyes were non-blinking as he stared ahead, turning his head slowly from side to side seeking the much feared bruin. He squat down to see under the growth – nothing. Slowly and methodically he stood up and craned his neck forward almost like a turtle to get as close a look as he could without making movement or sound.

It was really beginning to get dark and difficult to see. Klive looked ahead into the thicket as far as he could. Soon he discovered that it was so dark all he could see was black. He peered into the blackness when suddenly a foul odor penetrated his nostrils followed by a gust of hot air. He focused his eyes closer to him and that’s when he realized he was face to face with “The Bear”.

Klive turned to run for his life. He got a jump on the bear as the bear was as surprised as Klive. Klive was running as fast as he could. As he tried to duck under some heavy growth, a large branch hooked the end of his rifle barrel and yanked it from his hands. Klive knew he didn’t have time to stop and get it as “The Bear” was gaining ground. In Klive’s mind, the only hope for survival was to outrun that bear.

Klive ran as fast as he could occassionally glancing over his shoulder. The bear was gaining ground. Klive found himself in a big batch of spruce tree blow-downs. He remembered his college days when he was a member of the track team. His specialty was the low hurdles. His only option now was to hurdle a big spruce tree.

He nearly made it except his pant leg snagged on a 2-inch dead broken off spruce limb on the tree and down Klive went. Fearing for his life, Klive didn’t know what to do. Klive recalled a conversation he had had one day with the Pastor of the local Baptist church just outside of Houston where he lived. His Pastor had told him there was power in prayer.

Klive quickly got onto his knees and prayed, “Oh, Jesus! Make a believer out of this bear!”

Klive got up and turned to see how close his demise was. Much to his surprise, the bear had stopped and appeared to be also in a kneeling position. Could God have answered his prayer?

While Klive was trying to decide whether to believe the bear had become a believer or take this chance to run for his life, the bear began to pray.

The bear prayed, “Oh, Jesus! Thank you for what I am about to partake!”

Tom Remington

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