December 11, 2023

Pardoned Turkey Gobbled Up By Coyote – No Thanks To PETA

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What’s the bumper sticker I have seen so often say? “PETA SUCKS”? Well, in this case they really do. Here’s the story.

Bill Bates raises turkeys in Alabama and each year he picks out his prize turkey, issues him a pardon and promptly names him Clyde. Well, Bill was quite proud of Clyde “05” as he was full of character, weighed up considerably because of a ferocious appetite and strutted his stuff well. You can always tell a cocky turkey by watching how well he can strut.

Bill decided more people should get a look at Clyde and get to know him as well so he put him on display at the Alabama Farmers Market in Montgomery. Clyde was the best of show, so to speak and kids came from all around to see him. Many had never seen a turkey, or at least a live one before, and Clyde gave everyone a great show and education.

Sounds like a story founded in the solid roots of Americana, right? I remember my childhood days around Thanksgiving. We learned of the Pilgrims and the Indians – I guess I’m supposed to call them Native Americans. Either way I mean noone disrespect. My favorite thing to do was to draw and color turkeys. It was very meaningful to me to learn about my roots and heritage, to learn of the traditions of Thanksgiving and the symbolism we have carried down through generations.

Fast forward to the year 2006 and life in America is some different than if was in 1959. We have groups like PETA – People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals – who have their priorities so messed up they would prefer to see a child starve to death than eat a healthy meal comprised of meat from some animal.

PETA got wind of the story of Clyde and I would assume out of jealousy that Clyde was getting more attention than PETA, they opted to file a complaint that Clyde wasn’t being treated right – no specifics of what the complaint was. Perhaps Clyde needed a bath or something. With these morons at PETA it’s hard to tell what foolishness was behind their rididulous activism.

Bill Bates not wanting to subject his poor Clyde to the abuses of the PETA whackos, decided to take him back to his home in the country and live out the remaining days of freedom as a pardoned turkey – that was until a coyote ate him for his Thanksgiving dinner.

Such irony. First, a turkey destined for the dinner table, gets a pardon. Happy to be free, Clyde becomes the pride of Montgomery, teaching kids about turkeys and life on a farm, very much a part of real life in America – that is for the sane and rational of mind. Then a group that hides behind a charade claiming to have the best interest of animals at heart, indirectly causes the slaughter of an innocent turkey.

Just think how wonderful this story could have been if PETA never existed! What a wonderful world this would be.

Tom Remington