September 22, 2019

Maine: Gut Bears? This is NO April Fools’ Joke

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BearTableComputerAre not the arguments, protests, discussions, talking points, lies, misinformation and deliberate attempts to mislead voters in Maine getting a bit too confusing? Not that I would recommended it to anyone, but if you visit the Facebook page for the Wildlife Alliance of Maine, it appears those supporting the radical Humane Society of the United States’ effort to force communistic lifestyles onto the rest of us, cannot rationally recognize nor explain the difference between feeding wildlife and baiting bears. Being that the majority of readers to this website have a higher comprehension than a second grader, I won’t bother to explain the obvious. (Maybe we need Captain Obvious?)

It seems that nationwide, once bear hunting is forbidden by the communist-Marxist on the left, or is it the Fascist on the right, that the best way to “manage” bear populations is with bear proof garbage cans. These items are really “in” this year.

But maybe bear proof garbage cans can’t quite take care of hungry bears competing for a limited supply of food, so states are training officials on how to deal with bear attacks. In case you don’t bother to follow the link, this is to train officers how to deal with bear attacks on humans. Why would they need to do that?

Take a moment here and go check your bear proof garbage can. And when you get back, take a few minutes to go outside and take down your bird feeder. That always works to stop bears from attacking……well, attacking anything I guess.

And remember, always, always, always, listen to your government officials. They know everything about bears and their habits. After all, I bet all of them have experience with being attacked by a bear. Or, maybe not. It seems that those officials say bear attacks are so rare…….well, how rare are they? I dunno, but they are so rare we need to bear proof garbage cans, to take down our bird feeders, and train officers in how to deal with bear attacks. (Don’t forget looking big and making loud noises.)

But the real solution may rest in something quite remarkable. Well, two things really as they do go hand in hand, along with the people who utilize this. If bears get out of control, which is rare I know and make sure you are prepared and your local law enforcement and first responders are prepared for bear mouth to mouth, seek out a bear Reiki specialist.

In case some of you are wondering, it is April Fool’s Day but this is not an April Fool’s Day prank. I know that’s hard to believe.

If you don’t get like the Rolling Stones’ satisfaction, you can hire or better yet, become an animal whisperer. I heard bears get super aroused when under the influence of being “whispered to” in their teeny, weenie ears. Contrary to the aggressive nature of bad human men, the bear becomes quite docile when you blow warm breath lightly into their audio cavities. For sure, a combination of bear reiki and whispering will handle any hungry or aggressive bears. But just in case, and I know it’s rare, bring in that bird feeder, check your bear proof garbage cans and make sure your local sheriff knows how to deal with bear attacks…….did I say “just in case?”

Note: Some may laugh off this notion of communicating with animals but consider this. Cass Sunstein, Obama’s former Administrator of the White House Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs, claims that animals have all the same rights as any useless human being (I assume that includes politicians), including that animals deserve the right to legal representation in courts of law. Consider the advantages of having a bear whisperer, first having given the bear Reiki therapy before the hearing, to listen to and be able to relay to the court the true feelings of the bear. Dang! Ain’t American great?

Did I ever tell you the story about going to a local historical society meeting in rural Maine one evening and was treated to a guest speaker who was a bug whisperer? No? Maybe another day.

But seriously folks. This is all true. Follow the links. I’m not fooling! And that’s the absurdity of this nonsense to take away from wildlife officials the tools they need to control animal populations. Just today I posted another article about how New York and Massachusetts, having once banned the implementation of tools needed to control bear populations are now trying to reverse that mistake.

And to completely confuse those who can’t distinguish between baiting an animal to kill it and feeding one for pleasure, this guy can’t understand why bears much prefer natural food over, “fresh beef tallow, sunflower seeds, pastries, chocolate-covered cherries and bacon grease.”

It just appears that HSUS, in their second round of attempting to flex their totalitarian muscle, have waited too long. Last time was ten years ago. In other states where the environMENTALISTS were successful in banning bear hunting, the chickens have come home to roost. State officials are now seeing that allowing the ban was a big mistake and now they are scrambling to reverse the bad decisions in order to deal with the mess.

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