The National Training Laboratories (a brainwashing organization founded by psycho-king Dr. Kurt Lewin) use to conduct their brainwashing sessions in my tiny hometown of Bethel, Maine; population, 1,000. Famous in those mind controlling sessions were what Dr. Lewin called “T-Groups”; a chance to take mind altering drugs, get in touch with your inner self (and outer body’s of others) and learn to control the minds and thoughts of others around you. Perhaps in Chicago, murder capital of the world and the center for all things corrupt, T-Groups are needed for pet owners, citizens in general and of course we must call in the coyotes.

But seriously…..no, I just can’t do it. Chicago has a coyote problem. I’m not sure why anyone might think the Chicago area is going to do anything about coyotes attacking people and pets. They do nothing to stem the murder rate of humans in that city of filth and sin.

Back to the coyote problem, a boy was recently attacked by a coyote in a nearby park and all we seem to hear about from the Windy City is people complaining to police about coyotes attacking their pet dogs.

In Wheaton, police are so serious about the welfare of you and your pet, they issued a solution to avoiding a coyote attack: “Anyone encountering a coyote should shout, clap, run toward it or throw something in its direction.”

During the Lewis and Clark expedition, I think I read somewhere in their journals where they told their men to use this tactic if ever attacked by a predator……and any Indians that might happen along. I think the “throwing something in it’s direction” might have involved lead and powder.

Humans murdering humans in Chicago? That’s fine. Coyotes attacking humans in Chicago? That’s fine too. Coyotes attacking pets? Well, that’s not exactly fine because above all else, protect the pet….sort of. That’s why the police stepped in and told people how to protect their pets.

Above all else, DON’T HARM THE WILD DOGS!

And if you are in Chicago and encounter a coyote, I suggest you find the nearest pile of coyote scat and throw it at the police. The officer will coming running and then make them shout, clap, run toward the coyote or throw something at it.

Kill people! Save Wild Dogs!