September 21, 2020

Two Guys From Massachussets Went Hunting in Maine…….

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Oh, yes! The start of a good story. Every once in a while I have to do a reality check and let the true “me” come shining through. I love a good story and in particular when it is about hunting or fishing AND funny. I first heard this story while listening to Joe Perham entertain a bunch of Game Wardens.

Back to the beginning. Two fellas from Massachussets went up to northern Maine to go deer hunting. Each of them was successful in bagging their deer. They decided to search for a pilot who would fly them and their deer back to Boston.

They searched and searched and could not find anyone willing to risk flying these two guys and all their gear, plus two deer (in case you were wondering, they weren’t cows or donkeys or anything like that) out of the back woods of Maine.

They got down to the bottom of the list they had made and come to a pilot named Fernand. Fernand also refused to take the two hunters back to Boston. One of the hunters spoke up and said, “Last year when we came up here and hunted, we got Jacques, the flying wonder man, to fly us back to Boston!”

Fernand looked up and said, “Jew mean dat Jacques dere, he done fly you to hell to Boston?”

“Yeah, he did!” said the hunter.

“What da hell,” said Fernand. “If Jacgues can fly you dere, so can I! We strap dee damned deer, one on each of dem wings dere and we fly da hell back to Boston too!”

They loaded up all there gear and the plane was full. Like Fernand said, they strapped one deer on each wing and they headed out. As the plane slowly lifted into the air, it shuddad (that’s Maine talk) a couple of times as it barely made it over the tops of the tall spruce trees at the end of the runway.

They were struggling to stay aloft and had been out about 20 minutes, when the plane shook real hard. It coughed and sputtered and quickly the engines went silent. The plane began a rapid descent as Fernand struggled to control the aircraft. The two guys from Massachussets looked scared.

As the plane neared the ground, Fernand pulled hard up on the controls and was able to lessen the impact. The plane came to rest in the tops of several spruce trees.

The three men were alright. No one was seriously injured. Once they climbed down and got on the ground, Fernand says, “I wonder where da hell we are?”

One of the hunters spoke up and said, “Well, as near as I can tell, we are about 2 or 3 miles from where we came down last year.”

Tom Remington

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