September 28, 2023

As Maine Prepares for “Black Bear Bingo”

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

With a little help from my friends, I have brought readers hours of entertainment playing “Coyote Bingo“. Coyote Bingo became so popular that within only a matter of days from the original release of the game, a modified First Edition was created. (Note: Coyote Bingo can also be used for wolves and in some cases just use it for your favorite predator.)

And, just the other night, I introduced readers to a brand new game of “Barack’s Bullshit Bingo.” This was made to use throughout the remaining time President Barack Obama is in office. Whenever he delivers a speech, whip out your Barack’s Bullshit Bingo card and play along. Hours of excitement can be had by all.

As a special treat for readers of this website, you are about to be given a glimpse into the behind the scenes efforts and what helps the developers of the various bingo games to come up with phrases to place in each bingo square.

Soon, Maine will be in the throes of yet another effort by perverted, mentally disturbed environmentalists who want to end bear hunting and trapping in the Pine Tree State. The cheaters and liars have come up with a name for themselves; Mainers for Fair Bear Hunting. Isn’t that sweet.

During this campaign, citizens of the state will hear some of the most profound comments and statements about bears. These statements, more often that not originate as lies and then get passed on by ignorance. An example of this could be seen this morning on Fox and Friends.

The three anchors today were Steve, Ainsley, and Brian. A video clip was shown of a small bear (I couldn’t locate the video) found in the heart of a downtown area and one of the anchors (Ainsley?) asked why the bear was there. It was then that Steve and Brian in their by-design, indoctrinated ignorance answered, because people keep building condos! Brilliant.

To come up with box fillers for select bingo games, comments, all of which are either lies or ignorance, are collected and the best ones used.

In collecting comments for Bear Bingo, we have come up with a classic; one sure to please and not to tease.

According to the Bangor Daily News, a bear was spotted “near” a school in Kennebunk, Maine. The principal kept the kids inside for recess. However, the bingo making classic comment came from the local yokel from the police department. In attempting to explain why this one bear and a second were spotted in the same area, the police Lieutenant, after discounting rabies, said……, no, wait for it (I’ve always want to use that somewhere) He said, “THEY JUST GOT TURNED AROUND.”

That might make it to the center square!