August 10, 2022

L.L. Bean Cuts Off Its Nose Because It Has an Ugly Face

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Maine-based outdoor outfitters L.L. Bean has announced that after reviewing the shooting in Parkland, Florida, they will no longer sell guns to anyone under the age of 21. Despite their “ugly” face, cutting off their nose will do nothing to improve the look of it.

Understanding that a business, within the totalitarian regulations that govern their existences, has a right to limit the sale of anything, providing it doesn’t “discriminate” (Bwahahahahahaha), changing their policy to refuse legal sales of guns to those under the age of 18, is akin to disallowing Getchell Brothers to sell their brand of ice cubes to the Eskimos.

The act of kicking their long-time customer base in the groin will have an exponentially larger negative impact than any pie-in-the-sky progressive and idealistic notion that not selling guns to anyone under 21 will stop or reduce further actions of mass school shootings.

No one else could have so eloquently spoken these words than Forrest Gump: Stupid is as Stupid Does.